dthc

working.

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dthc

, 01-27-2011 at 03:38 AM (360 Views)

I work.
it defines what I do to the point that I don't have time to be anything else.
Up 7:30, at work by 8, home by 8.
But it's more complicated than that.
And that's my daily grind.
Or at least it should be.

The schedule changes on a daily basis.
The loud staff members that everyone likes, don't like me.
Every teacher on staff that I like either quits or
screams directly into my face for long enough that I don't like them anymore.
Don't get me wrong, I still laugh at their jokes,
but I just don't have that sense of maybe almost connecting with them.

I'm outside of it all and I have no real place to fit in.
Obnoxious high school student assistants think I'm 12 and
try to kick me off the computers when I check my email.
I'm sorry I'm not wearing the pretty dress you think i should be to distinguish me from the students.
I'm not allowed to.
I personally don't believe you should be allowed to either, as I can currently see 65% of your ass.
When you walk like a stuck up bitch, I can see more.
It's all in the posture.
Overall, I feel like I'm going to explode.
I feel unwanted and under utilized.
And I jump through hoops like nobody's business.

And maybe this is the life of an Americorps Volunteer.
But fuck me, I'm not a quitter.

And then,
there are the good moments.
Like when one of my mentor kids shows up high out of their mind and makes me laugh.
Or I get a word right while no one is watching on the crossword puzzle that I'm not allowed to touch.
Or when the bad kids do their work for me because i let them talk while they do it.
I'm the person that the kids will tell when they're high.
I'm the person that they trust.
In the end though,
is it worth it?

Fuck no.
At this point, I can't at all deal with being hated in so many realms of my life.
I'm sorry grown-ups, but if you don't like me, leave me alone. Don't bully me.
Douchebags....

Tags: let's segregate, we all hate

Categories: Uncategorized

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Comments

Philosophy - 02-17-2011 06:31 PM
Intense. If something isn't worth it, though, then you stop, is it quitting or is it making the right decision? I quit a job I once had so I could dance more. I make less money, and I didn't really like that job (though it definitely wasn't as unbearable as yours sounds) but I quit so I could focus on what I love. If I'm a quitter for that, then being a quitter doesn't sound so bad. I'd rather be smart and happy than stubborn and unhappy, know what I'm sayin'? You're smart, though, so you most likely already thought about this kinda stuff, and you're just going through the motions to get through the hell of it all, or at least that's what it seems like. Good luck, I guess!

Also... at least we all know that kids do need someone they can trust, and right now they have one, if you're right.
dthc - 02-21-2011 04:08 PM
Originally Posted by Philosophy

Intense. If something isn't worth it, though, then you stop, is it quitting or is it making the right decision? I quit a job I once had so I could dance more. I make less money, and I didn't really like that job (though it definitely wasn't as unbearable as yours sounds) but I quit so I could focus on what I love. If I'm a quitter for that, then being a quitter doesn't sound so bad. I'd rather be smart and happy than stubborn and unhappy, know what I'm sayin'? You're smart, though, so you most likely already thought about this kinda stuff, and you're just going through the motions to get through the hell of it all, or at least that's what it seems like. Good luck, I guess!

Also... at least we all know that kids do need someone they can trust, and right now they have one, if you're right.

I stopped socializing at all with the adults and things have gotten a lot better. I can't quit because I signed a contract to do this job until September, so I'm stuck. I also REALLY need the reference and it looks really good to go through AmeriCorps if you're joining the peace corps, which we are.